I was in disbelief when I was told that my jaw was broken... and not just one break, two breaks. I don't know why I was so surprised since the hit sent me to the ground and the left side of my face was the size of a grapefruit. I didn't think past the swelling so I never thought about... surgery. I'm not sure which sounded scarier... surgery or being sent home with a broken jaw. I was told to go home and call the Oral Surgeon at 8am. The doc must have remembered a few weeks ago when I told him that I don't care for pain meds so this time, he asked me what pain medicine I wanted. I asked for Tylenol 3 so he wrote me a liquid prescription, told me not to eat or drink because of surgery, and sent me on my way. (I later regretted that. I shyly asked my surgeon for something stronger. He didn't hesitate... he said he couldn't imagine taking Tylenol 3 for broken bones)
I impatiently called the office promptly at 8am to find out they don't open til 9am. That hour felt like forever. I called at 9am and got an apt for later that afternoon. I was happy to see the empty waiting room since I was self conscious about my huge face. I was called back, got an xray done, then waited for the doctor. The E.R told me differently... but apparently the 'small fracture' in the front was the worst... and the 'larger fracture' in the back wasn't as bad. The thinnest part of my jaw in the front was completely snapped in half, from the very bottom to the very top. The back (the very back of the side of my jaw) was completely snapped as well, but it wasn't as concerning as the front break. The doctor explained a few different surgery scenarios which included the possibility of wiring my jaw shut. I told him to do whatever he needed to do, but explained to him how anxious I was about the thought of having my jaw wired shut. He told me that he will do what he can to avoid it.
The receptionist said the next surgery opening would be the following evening. I was depressed and excited at the same time. I wanted to get the surgery done ASAP, but since the surgery wasn't until the next day... that meant that I could eat! I haven't eaten in about 24 hours since I thought I would have surgery that day. She said she has to call my doctor to get a pre-surgery physical scheduled. When she said that I asked impatiently "Can I come back in 10 mins?" She said "Yes.. go ahead... I'm sure you want to run downstairs to get some food!" I quickly ran out! Unable to eat, I down a bottle of chocolate milk faster than I could blink!
Honestly, I don't remember Thursday afternoon or Friday morning. The pain meds had me so drowsy but they took the edge off the excruciating pain. I could feel EXACTLY where the two breaks were... I could feel my bones move. Vicodin barely touched the pain but surely made me drowsy. I remember sleeping on the way to the hospital. I changed into this awesome gown. The gown hooked up to a machine that blew hot/cold air! The warm gown and pain meds knocked me out. I remember moving from the bed to the stretcher that took me into the Operating Room.
When I had surgery on my collarbone 5 years ago, I remember being knocked out right before entering the OR. This time, they wheeled me right into the OR, completely conscious. Something about it freaked me out... I felt like I was in a movie! I was wheeled through double doors into an operating room full of nurses, medical instruments, a big metal table, and white tiled walls. Then they asked me to get on the operating table. Uhhh. A guy said "I'm going to give you something in your I.V to relax you". Relax me? RELAX ME? Just knock me out already!!! He injected something into my I.V... held a mask over my face... then I woke up in the recovery room.
First thing I did when I came to it was to see if my jaw was wired shut. I was SO excited that it wasn't wired shut! The doctor explained that he put a metal plate on the front break. He said he had a hard time with the screws since my bone was soft, so he had to use larger screws. He explained that he didn't touch the back break since he would have needed to cut the outside of my face, which he didn't want to do. He just said he would monitor it closely.
The next few weeks were a blur. The pain was unbearable. I watched the clock to see when I could take the next dose of pain medicine for about 2 weeks before the pain started to decrease. I had my first big Microbiology exam 3 days after major surgery and a lab exam 5 days after... yea, I had to drop that class. I fell behind in my photography class and I am STILL trying to catch up. It doesn't help that my teacher deducted a whole letter grade for a few assignments since it was late... sorry I was busy having surgery then being knocked out from pain meds. I totally planned that.
I received a beautiful flower arrangement from my softball team that included a teddy bear and candy. I looked at the candy and out of all candies, guess which candy was in there! Jaw breakers!!! I busted out laughing!!! And what's even better, it just happen to be in the 'bag of candy' that came with the flowers... my team was only told it was candy, and not what kind. Lauren thought I would be upset or offended... I thought it was hilarious!
The next few weeks were full of nutritional shakes and soups. I lost about 10 pounds. Something I don't ever want to go through ever again, or wish on my worst enemy. It was a hard time... not just not being able to eat... but I had constant flashbacks... and really bad/low days.
I think that's enough for now. I see a part 3 coming in the near future. But for now, please keep me in your prayers as I have another surgery on the 13th. The metal plate is sticking out too far and it's causing me a lot of pain so it's going to be removed. It's a simple surgery but another long recovery. My stitches just recently fully dissolved and it's been about 7 weeks since my surgery. Doc will go through the same incision which is a large one... from the back of the left side of my jaw all the way around to the front right side, so about 3/4 of my gum line will be cut open again.
Love and prayers are appreciated :)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
(Part 1)... It only takes a second...
Friday, the 12th, will mark one month since the accident. It's amazing how it only takes 1 second for something to change your life dramatically. Something so simple as a softball.
It was a typical Wednesday night playing in my second season with a local co-ed softball team. I was up to bat and hit the ball to the same place that I typically hit it which somewhere between the catcher and third base. Honestly, I'm not a strong batter so the ball doesn't go far... it's my legs that get me on base. I hit the ball to my typical spot and I see someone grab it and throw it to second base. I was happy that it was going to second because that meant I would get on base! All within a second, I touched first base, thought about being excited to get on base, then I was on the ground.
I remember touching the base then hearing the loudest pop. I don't remember actually falling, but I knew that the hit sent me straight to the ground. I opened my eyes right away to realize that I was on the ground and that something went horribly wrong. I just remember looking at the dirt and finding comfort in laying there, unwilling to move, screaming and crying. Honestly, I was afraid. I was hurting, spitting out a lot of blood, and I had no will to get up off the ground.
Out of all things, my first thought was to check my teeth. I ran my tongue along my teeth to make sure none was missing! I couldn't close my mouth, nor did I want to try... I knew that I was hit in the jaw.
I don't know who it was, but someone put their softball glove under my head which was nice... I remember being worried about getting blood on it. I kept trying to spit all the blood out of my mouth, which was quit a lot. I heard someone say "Put her on her back!". Even in shock I knew that it was a bad idea. Hope I didn't sound too rude when I quickly tried to tell them that I needed to stay on my side to keep spitting the blood out. Someone responded "But she's a nurse!". I ignored it like they were making it up. I didn't feel like choking on my blood that night. Not only that, it is a really bad idea to move someone after they received severe trauma to the head.
To whoever it was that wiped my nose, thank you. I asked for a tissue and someone quickly came back with one and asked if they could help. It takes a real woman to wipe another woman's snotty nose. Thank you!
I remember Kimya rubbing my back and telling me that it was okay. You know, that was extremely comforting because I was outright scared! I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I know that I had gone into shock. I remember hearing her on the phone with 911... it seriously felt like a dream. I felt frozen in time. My body felt frozen. I didn't want to move... the ground was comforting. I was relieved when I heard the ambulance sirens. I have NO idea why I thought I was going to be air lifted off the field. Again, looking back, I know that I was in shock.
(A memorable moment... laying on the ground and texting, ha! Kimya, my team mate, was telling me that the numbers for Ben didn't work. Well, she didn't know that Ben's phone was broken, so I was trying to explain how to send a message to his email. So here I was, on the ground fumbling through my phone. Random, I thought it was funny how she got frustrated that she didn't know how to type her number into the message so someone else helped her. I knew that the only local family to call was my aunt's house but I thought... I think it's too late to call, haha. Then I figured it wasn't that late and that she wouldn't probably care if it was anyway. I was really happy to know that not only did someone get a hold of her, but I was told that everyone was on their way to the hospital.)
When I heard the sirens I thought "Wow, that was fast!" I felt like I was on the ground for 2 minutes before I heard the sirens. Turns out, I was on the ground for around 25-30 mins. Now I feel silly for telling the dreamy EMT "Wow! You guys got here quick!" and he replied "We were just right down the street".
I saw a stretcher come up beside me. I was embarrassed and scared to sit up when the EMT's arrived. I didn't know what my face looked like, everyone was crowded around, and I was full of snot and tears. I sat up, answered a few questions in extreme amount of pain and not being able to talk right, then I was helped on the stretcher.
As soon as I was on the stretcher and ready to leave the field, everyone started to clap. It still felt like I was in a movie. I was emotional, started to cry, as I still couldn't believe that this was happening. I took both arms, raised them above my head, then covered my eyes/face... I was embarrassed by the tears, but appreciative because I knew that everyone was thinking about me. I could tell that everyone was relieved to see that I was 'alright'... I was just a relieved.
Honestly... as bad as it was to be the one to go through it... I couldn't imagine watching it happen. I'm serious. I can't imagine how traumatic it was for my friends, my team mates, and even the other team, watch this happen to me. I thank God that Ben and Layla decided to stay home that night.
I can't even begin to imagine what I looked like. Face planting into the dirt then start screaming. Then to keep watching it for 30 mins before the ambulance came. I can't imagine being the person who threw the ball. It had to of been heartbreaking.
I did hear from him after the accident... but I'll save that for the next blog.
I got to the hospital and I saw Jeff Haynes walk by, a P.A that was working the night I went into the E.R for my back. I was happy to see him because I wanted to thank him for admitting me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 3 days, about 3 weeks prior. I was happy that he admitted me because while I was there the docs figured out that I have an autoimmune disease which made me susceptible to getting the back infection that I came in with.
Anyway, he was surprised to see me back so soon! I won't forget when he came in after reading the x-ray. He looked me straight in the eyes and said "I wish that I had better news for you". My heart stopped. I knew that my jaw was messed up... but not THAT messed up. My aunt and I looked at each other. I looked back at Jeff... "You have not only one, but two fractures". My aunt and I looked at each other again. I was in disbelief. I think we all were. He confirmed my fear... surgery.
I was sent home that night, instructed to call the oral surgeon in the morning. I went two days with a broken jaw that was broken in two places. I don't know what was worse... two days with a broken jaw, or post surgery... they were pretty equal actually.
That's a lot for tonight. I forgot a lot of details like how my awesome teammates came to visit me in the ER. You know, they said that me getting on base really helped keep the game going... and we won that game! I'll finish the rest of the story tomorrow... I'm sure this was a lot to read!
It was a typical Wednesday night playing in my second season with a local co-ed softball team. I was up to bat and hit the ball to the same place that I typically hit it which somewhere between the catcher and third base. Honestly, I'm not a strong batter so the ball doesn't go far... it's my legs that get me on base. I hit the ball to my typical spot and I see someone grab it and throw it to second base. I was happy that it was going to second because that meant I would get on base! All within a second, I touched first base, thought about being excited to get on base, then I was on the ground.
I remember touching the base then hearing the loudest pop. I don't remember actually falling, but I knew that the hit sent me straight to the ground. I opened my eyes right away to realize that I was on the ground and that something went horribly wrong. I just remember looking at the dirt and finding comfort in laying there, unwilling to move, screaming and crying. Honestly, I was afraid. I was hurting, spitting out a lot of blood, and I had no will to get up off the ground.
Out of all things, my first thought was to check my teeth. I ran my tongue along my teeth to make sure none was missing! I couldn't close my mouth, nor did I want to try... I knew that I was hit in the jaw.
I don't know who it was, but someone put their softball glove under my head which was nice... I remember being worried about getting blood on it. I kept trying to spit all the blood out of my mouth, which was quit a lot. I heard someone say "Put her on her back!". Even in shock I knew that it was a bad idea. Hope I didn't sound too rude when I quickly tried to tell them that I needed to stay on my side to keep spitting the blood out. Someone responded "But she's a nurse!". I ignored it like they were making it up. I didn't feel like choking on my blood that night. Not only that, it is a really bad idea to move someone after they received severe trauma to the head.
To whoever it was that wiped my nose, thank you. I asked for a tissue and someone quickly came back with one and asked if they could help. It takes a real woman to wipe another woman's snotty nose. Thank you!
I remember Kimya rubbing my back and telling me that it was okay. You know, that was extremely comforting because I was outright scared! I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back, I know that I had gone into shock. I remember hearing her on the phone with 911... it seriously felt like a dream. I felt frozen in time. My body felt frozen. I didn't want to move... the ground was comforting. I was relieved when I heard the ambulance sirens. I have NO idea why I thought I was going to be air lifted off the field. Again, looking back, I know that I was in shock.
(A memorable moment... laying on the ground and texting, ha! Kimya, my team mate, was telling me that the numbers for Ben didn't work. Well, she didn't know that Ben's phone was broken, so I was trying to explain how to send a message to his email. So here I was, on the ground fumbling through my phone. Random, I thought it was funny how she got frustrated that she didn't know how to type her number into the message so someone else helped her. I knew that the only local family to call was my aunt's house but I thought... I think it's too late to call, haha. Then I figured it wasn't that late and that she wouldn't probably care if it was anyway. I was really happy to know that not only did someone get a hold of her, but I was told that everyone was on their way to the hospital.)
When I heard the sirens I thought "Wow, that was fast!" I felt like I was on the ground for 2 minutes before I heard the sirens. Turns out, I was on the ground for around 25-30 mins. Now I feel silly for telling the dreamy EMT "Wow! You guys got here quick!" and he replied "We were just right down the street".
I saw a stretcher come up beside me. I was embarrassed and scared to sit up when the EMT's arrived. I didn't know what my face looked like, everyone was crowded around, and I was full of snot and tears. I sat up, answered a few questions in extreme amount of pain and not being able to talk right, then I was helped on the stretcher.
As soon as I was on the stretcher and ready to leave the field, everyone started to clap. It still felt like I was in a movie. I was emotional, started to cry, as I still couldn't believe that this was happening. I took both arms, raised them above my head, then covered my eyes/face... I was embarrassed by the tears, but appreciative because I knew that everyone was thinking about me. I could tell that everyone was relieved to see that I was 'alright'... I was just a relieved.
Honestly... as bad as it was to be the one to go through it... I couldn't imagine watching it happen. I'm serious. I can't imagine how traumatic it was for my friends, my team mates, and even the other team, watch this happen to me. I thank God that Ben and Layla decided to stay home that night.
I can't even begin to imagine what I looked like. Face planting into the dirt then start screaming. Then to keep watching it for 30 mins before the ambulance came. I can't imagine being the person who threw the ball. It had to of been heartbreaking.
I did hear from him after the accident... but I'll save that for the next blog.
I got to the hospital and I saw Jeff Haynes walk by, a P.A that was working the night I went into the E.R for my back. I was happy to see him because I wanted to thank him for admitting me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 3 days, about 3 weeks prior. I was happy that he admitted me because while I was there the docs figured out that I have an autoimmune disease which made me susceptible to getting the back infection that I came in with.
Anyway, he was surprised to see me back so soon! I won't forget when he came in after reading the x-ray. He looked me straight in the eyes and said "I wish that I had better news for you". My heart stopped. I knew that my jaw was messed up... but not THAT messed up. My aunt and I looked at each other. I looked back at Jeff... "You have not only one, but two fractures". My aunt and I looked at each other again. I was in disbelief. I think we all were. He confirmed my fear... surgery.
I was sent home that night, instructed to call the oral surgeon in the morning. I went two days with a broken jaw that was broken in two places. I don't know what was worse... two days with a broken jaw, or post surgery... they were pretty equal actually.
That's a lot for tonight. I forgot a lot of details like how my awesome teammates came to visit me in the ER. You know, they said that me getting on base really helped keep the game going... and we won that game! I'll finish the rest of the story tomorrow... I'm sure this was a lot to read!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
She is turning 3...
I feel like summer passed us by with just a blink of an eye. It was busy yet fun at the same time. A few months ago, we went to a new church that we all fell in love with. During the summer, Layla went to 3 camps there and had a blast! She loves to go to 'school' every Sunday (Sunday School)!
In less than one week, my 'baby girl' will be 3 years old! It's unbelievable. Though she will always be my baby, she is turning into such a beautiful little girl. I've heard that 3's are worse than 2's and I am starting to believe it. That girl can get an attitude! It's hard to ask in a stern voice "Did you finish your dinner?" and be upset, when she replies in such a sweet voice "No, didn't!". Or when you try to tell her to sit down and finish her dinner when she politely says "No, fine!", lol!
I had to give her her first lesson in stealing the other day. We were all enjoying some frozen yogurt when she walked to the toppings and took a gummy worm. I immediately told her that she isn't allowed to take anything that didn't belong to her, without buying it first. I made her wait in line and told her that she will have to use her own money to buy it. She was holding on to a quarter all night so she could 'buy something special' but I explained that she had to pay for the gummy worm that she took. She seemed quit concerned and looked as if she felt bad. After waiting in line, I had her put the gummy worm on the scale (they charge by weight). It didn't register the amount since it was too light but had her 'pay' by putting her money in the tip jar. She actually seemed quit proud for paying for her gummy worm... and I was proud of her too. <3 br="br">
She is starting to talk more. She is very intelligent... she just can't get her words out. She knows her shapes, colors, and some numbers, but it's hard to understand her. She is now saying "May I have it?" but sounds like "May I ah it?" ... "Daddy did it" "No, didn't" and puts a few other 2-3 words together. She has an apt tomorrow to transition into a new speech program, since she is turning 3. It will only be 30 mins a session, but once a week rather than an hour every other week. Her old therapist would come to our house but now she will be going to an elementary school for group sessions.
Well, it's time for bed. It was nice that Layla was already in bed when I got home from softball but I'm going to miss my cuddles tonight. Guess that means extra cuddles in the morning.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
I'm bad at blogging...
It's obvious, I am bad at blogging! I really want to say that I'll try to keep up this time, but I said that last time! Let's just see how it goes ;)
Well, Layla will be 3 in only 2 months... I really can't believe it! The other night I was reminiscing and looking at her baby photos which was bitter sweet. I miss my small little newborn and time is going by too quickly... but she sure is blooming into such a wonderful and beautiful little girl! She still has a speech delay but she is talking more and more lately! One of my favorite recent conversations...
Layla "Ohhh Belly!"
Me: "Oh does your belly hurt?"
Layla: sadly says "Yesss"
Me: "Oh... Do you need a snack?"Layla: "No... candy!"
That girl thinks she is smooth!
Being Layla's mother is such a blessing. She is truly an angel. She is every day proof that God will never give you more than you can't handle. I've had my personal reasons why it's been a rough situation... but good always comes from bad and I will always believe that. God works in mysterious ways!
Life is good. We recently took our first official family vacation to Ocean City, MD. Not only was it Ben, Layla, and I it was also my grand parents, 2 aunts, uncle, 5 cousins, and my sister. Ben and I had a nice room with a kitchenette that we shared with my sister. The resort was amazing. There was an indoor pool, out door pool, Pirate Ship splash park, putt putt, movie room, and diner, all on the property! Ben spent time fishing off the pier which I know made him very happy. I had a great time para sailing for the first time with my sister! My all time favorite was just seeing how happy Layla was! She had such a great time on the beach, swimming at the pools, playing at the splash park, and riding the rides on the board walk! Vacation put a hole in our pocket but it was worth every penny to see Layla so happy! <3
Some of Layla's favorite things... her stuffed dog, saying "Me too!" excitedly after everything you say, having tea parties, and watching Dora! Every night, she grabs her book "My Goodnight Book" and has either mommy and/or daddy read it to her before she goes to bed. She likes to act out the scenes, like washing her hair, brushing her teeth, then pretending to be asleep at the end of the book. When kissing her good night, she says "Better" which means she wants me to tell her "Feel better". I was sick a few weeks ago and Ben told her to tell me "Feel better". Since then, she wants me to tell her to feel better every night :) Sometimes, she will show me her knee (that she scratched pretty badly when on vacation) so I can tell her knee to feel better! :)
Anyway, it's about time to get this girl into bed. My favorite thing in the world is cuddling her, kissing her a million times, and telling her "I love you".
Well, Layla will be 3 in only 2 months... I really can't believe it! The other night I was reminiscing and looking at her baby photos which was bitter sweet. I miss my small little newborn and time is going by too quickly... but she sure is blooming into such a wonderful and beautiful little girl! She still has a speech delay but she is talking more and more lately! One of my favorite recent conversations...
Layla "Ohhh Belly!"
Me: "Oh does your belly hurt?"
Layla: sadly says "Yesss"
Me: "Oh... Do you need a snack?"Layla: "No... candy!"
That girl thinks she is smooth!
Being Layla's mother is such a blessing. She is truly an angel. She is every day proof that God will never give you more than you can't handle. I've had my personal reasons why it's been a rough situation... but good always comes from bad and I will always believe that. God works in mysterious ways!
Life is good. We recently took our first official family vacation to Ocean City, MD. Not only was it Ben, Layla, and I it was also my grand parents, 2 aunts, uncle, 5 cousins, and my sister. Ben and I had a nice room with a kitchenette that we shared with my sister. The resort was amazing. There was an indoor pool, out door pool, Pirate Ship splash park, putt putt, movie room, and diner, all on the property! Ben spent time fishing off the pier which I know made him very happy. I had a great time para sailing for the first time with my sister! My all time favorite was just seeing how happy Layla was! She had such a great time on the beach, swimming at the pools, playing at the splash park, and riding the rides on the board walk! Vacation put a hole in our pocket but it was worth every penny to see Layla so happy! <3
Some of Layla's favorite things... her stuffed dog, saying "Me too!" excitedly after everything you say, having tea parties, and watching Dora! Every night, she grabs her book "My Goodnight Book" and has either mommy and/or daddy read it to her before she goes to bed. She likes to act out the scenes, like washing her hair, brushing her teeth, then pretending to be asleep at the end of the book. When kissing her good night, she says "Better" which means she wants me to tell her "Feel better". I was sick a few weeks ago and Ben told her to tell me "Feel better". Since then, she wants me to tell her to feel better every night :) Sometimes, she will show me her knee (that she scratched pretty badly when on vacation) so I can tell her knee to feel better! :)
Anyway, it's about time to get this girl into bed. My favorite thing in the world is cuddling her, kissing her a million times, and telling her "I love you".
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